Affirmations for Recovering from Spiritual Abuse
Learn more about steps that you can take to take control of your recovery from spiritual abuse and religious trauma from Salyer Counseling Groups team member, Madison Thomas, LMSW. Madison is a therapist that is passionate about therapy, mental health, and making space for healing from trauma and abuse of all kinds. Learn more about her simple steps start processing the unique harms that come from spiritual abuses.
Recovering from an abusive or toxic spiritual environment can be a complex and emotionally painful experience for many reasons. One being, our spiritual environment is a place where we often seek peace, help, goodness, truth, and genuine human connection.
When the very place we go for help ends up hurting us, lying to us, manipulating us, or using us as a means to an end, it can be a difficult reality to reconcile. Additionally, many of us may find our core beliefs about the universe and ourselves within our spiritual traditions. When these foundations are shaken, it can leave us with an identity crisis- unsure of who we are, what we believe, our place in the world, and how to move forward (1). Not only may our negative experiences cause us to wrestle with our beliefs, but it may also signal the end of important relationships and or a fundamental shift in lifestyle.
If you are in the process of recovering from spiritual abuse or from a toxic spiritual environment, I want to share three affirmations with you as you navigate this journey. Depending on what environment you are coming from, these affirmations may feel very intuitive, or they may be ideas you may have never considered. Either way, I encourage you to imagine how they may apply to you. The first is this…
“I can prioritize my own recovery and care”.
One very common example of spiritual abuse is “a religious leader using [a religious text] or beliefs to coerce or control the behavior of members of the organization” (2). When this happens, many individuals find that they have structured their lifestyle and identities around adapting to the verbalized or perceived rules and norms of the organization. Many times, these norms include self-abdication for the sake of the group's agenda or leader’s directives leading to a sense of guilt or anxiety around centralizing one’s own needs. However, I want to offer that prioritizing your needs, whether that be taking space from certain social circles, service responsibilities, and/or engaging in activities that bring you peace and joy is not only okay, but essential (3).
“I can re-evaluate my beliefs on my own time”.
When a leader or organization causes harm, it may allow us to see certain beliefs or practices from a different perspective. Our experiences or the experiences of others can trigger us to re-evaluate what we think, and although this may be unsettling, it can be healthy. Many times abusive organizations demand spiritual compliance from their members and it may feel counterintuitive to hold space for your own metamorphosis; but this auditing process can lead us through a journey of letting go or of revising beliefs and practices that causes harm in favor of more truthful, authentic, or peaceful convictions. (4).
“I am not responsible for what was done to me, but I can write the story from here”.
My strongest admonishment for those recovering from spiritual trauma is to practice self-compassion. Some may feel guilty or ashamed for not seeing or responding differently to the harm that was done to them as the leader(s) in an abusive environment are typically thought to do no wrong. However, what was done to you by others is not your responsibility (5). While the past cannot be changed, you do possess the power to write where your story goes from here and what you do with the information you have now. I encourage you to practice self-forgiveness and compassion as you find your way forward into uncharted waters. I hope that self-compassion leads you to find your fiercest advocate and most consistent encourager within yourself.
If you are reading this right now and suspect that you may be a part of a spiritually harmful organization, I encourage you to educate yourself on some of the signs of a potentially abusive religious environment.
No matter where you are in your journey, there is help available for you with our trained therapists at Salyer Counseling Group. Our team of professionals is here to support you through the many nuances of healing from spiritual trauma with both online therapy and in person services in our DFW/Arlington therapy office. Our team has the ability to work with individuals of varying ages and backgrounds with sliding scale, private pay, and insurance options for individuals with Cigna/Evernorth, United Health Care, BCBS and Aetna. I hope you will reach out today to get the help you need no matter where you are in your journey.
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