Is it Anxiety or Perfectionism?
Today, we are sharing this blog space with Alexia Eller, LMSW. Alexia is a trauma therapist, an EMDR therapist, and a mental health advocate. She has a diverse work history and is skilled at helping clients of all ages manage challenges associated with trauma, anxiety, depression, and more. Today she is sharing about a unique aspect of anxiety treatment and exploring the connection between anxiety and perfectionism.
Sometimes anxiety and perfectionism may be linked for some individuals. If you strive to be perfect, it may leave some lingering feelings of anxiousness due to not meeting your own personal unrealistic expectations. While perfectionism can be a somewhat admirable quality leading to high achievement, when the need to be perfect causes distress, it may become more problematic for mental health. If you feel distressed when you feel like you aren’t meeting your desires or needs for yourself, you may be a perfectionist who struggles with anxiety. The research identifies that perfectionism and anxiety can go hand in hand.
According to Burgess and DiBartolo, perfectionism is defined by setting high standards accompanied by critical self-evaluation and is often associated with increased psychological distress. Wanting to be perfect at something can be periodically helpful, but if it is a continued theme it could be damaging to yourself and others.
The question is how do we learn to address perfectionism and manage anxiety in a healthy way? Here are a few ideas to consider as a starting point:
Identify Your Standards - Be honest with yourself, are your own personal standards getting in the way of your professional or personal relationships? Recognize these tendencies and how they may impact your daily routine to understand and navigate how to reduce personal pressure on yourself.
Make Mistakes - It’s okay to make mistakes and it is a part of being human. Humans make mistakes and can learn from them without feeling like they have to be on or perfect all the time. Listen to your inner dialogue and factor in the challenges you faced and how you can learn from those.
Give Grace - It is best practice to give yourself some compassion and grace when you are reviewing any mistakes or thoughts you have regarding wanting to be the best of the best. Journaling down your thoughts or feelings and then writing down positive cognitions about yourself you know to be true can implement self-love and grace.
Let Go of Control - If you let go of your fear of not being able to control everything or be perfect, you can gain insight into areas to focus on more or what you could be ignoring. (1)
By: Alexia Eller, LMSW
If you want to dive deeper into this topic and learn how to replace your negative thoughts, our team is ready to help. Whether online therapy, in person at our Arlington, TX base therapy office, or through group therapy, we have options to meet your needs. Connect with a member of our team today.
