How to Talk to Children About Death
Today, we are sharing this blog space with Alexia Eller, LMSW. Alexia is a trauma therapist, an EMDR therapist, and a mental health advocate. She has a diverse work history working with survivors of loss and trauma. Learn from her about ways to communicate with children and teens about tough topics to discuss with children and teens.
Death can be tricky to talk about with anyone. No matter the person's age, we are all human and have big feelings. Though we know that death is an inevitable part of life and talking about it can be painful to discuss, it is good to know how to navigate talking about death with our children and teens.
When addressing topics of death or sharing a new loss, it is best to tell the child as soon as possible in a safe place for them to absorb the information. It is a good idea to have the child be around items that bring them comfort such as a baby blanket, a beloved stuffed animal, or a favorite person or pet to be present when speaking to them about a hard topic.
Here are some helpful tips to consider when talking to children about death:
Be honest - the truth gives an explanation for the pain your child sees you experiencing and allows them to understand it is okay to be sad and open up emotionally so they can see how to mourn. Do not be afraid to share your own sadness in front of children. Modeling that sadness is normal and okay can actually be empowering and healing for children.
Be prepared for many responses - however you approach the topic of a loved one passing away, it will be hard for them. The child can come off as angry, not understanding, constantly checking to confirm what you said is true; but accept their reactions and allow them time to process. Off-handed humor can even be a natural response when experiencing new feelings and seasons of uncertainty.
You do not have to know it all - You will not have all the answers for the child, and that’s perfectly fine. Be okay with telling the child “I don’t know” or allow them to know that you may not have all the answers and that’s fine too. (1). (2). (3)
As a parent, it is okay to know that grief is a process for yourself and for your children. You do not have to put on a brave face for them, but showing your emotions and allowing them to see your pain or that you are crying because you miss Grandpa Joe or your beloved dog, Max is necessary for them to learn the concept of death and healthy grief.
Child and teen therapist can also help children and their families navigate loss in a healthy way. If your child is struggling to process death and loss, contacting a child therapist can be a great way to support children in working towards a healthy understanding of grief.
If a loved one’s death is sudden, deeply stressful, or presents continuous hidden emotions without a proper outlet to let them out, it may be time to find a therapist who can assist with that. Whether online therapy, in person at our Arlington, TX base therapy office, or through group therapy, we have options to meet your needs. Connect with a member of our team today.
