What are Positive Affirmations & why do they feel so Awkward?
Leeann Martinez, LMSW is a DBT therapist, EMDR therapist, and mental health advocate. Learn more from her about common coping skills and how to implement these skills into your mental health journey.
As a mental health counselor, there have been many times I have encouraged people to work on the way they talk to themselves. When I encourage positive affirmations, I am sometimes met with a skeptical grin. While I understand the hesitancy, I do believe there is evidence-based research to back this exercise up. The evidence-based research comes down to brain science. First, let’s look into what positive affirmations are.
What are positive affirmations?
Positive affirmations are helpful statements you say to yourself or others to verbalize your belief in your or another person’s being. At times, positive affirmations can feel uncomfortable to say to yourself, especially when you are having a tough time believing them to be true, but this is a common experience due to previously formed neural pathways created for negative self-talk. (1)
What are neural pathways?
Neural pathways are connections between neurons in the brain. Neurons are any and all information taken in by the brain. The more that we reinforce the data, the stronger the neural pathway gets. (2) Consider, as the previously linked article states, a baby walks for the first time. The baby’s brain would connect the neurons for the new skill learned. Now, really imagine a baby walking for the first time. The baby would be stumbling and would likely only take two to three steps. After the few first steps, the baby would continue to engage in this behavior. The baby’s brain would continue to strengthen the neural pathway, allowing the activity to get easier as time goes on. Eventually, that baby will be able to walk sufficiently without any stumbling. This is thanks to neural networks.
How do neural pathways help us to change our thoughts?
Our brains form neural pathways that reinforce behaviors. The more we engage in behavior, whether positive, negative, or neutral, the more the neural pathways are strengthened. It is common for people to be in an uncomfortable situation or make a mistake and blame it on themselves. Saying these negative statements, whether it be in one’s mind or out loud, strengthens the neural network, making the brain reach for that behavior more regularly. This could be why it feels uncomfortable to start reframing negative situations with positive affirmations of one’s self. In the previous example, the opposite is true. The more you reinforce uncomfortable situations by reframing them with positive affirmations, the quicker your brain will go to this behavior.
How can positive affirmations help me?
The stress hormone, cortisol, can increase when we have low self-esteem and self-worth. With higher rates of cortisol can come mental health difficulties, physical health difficulties, and interruptions in our ability to function. Positive affirmations are a way to increase your self-esteem, lending to lower cortisol.
Why do they feel so awkward to say?
The exercise of positive affirmations can feel awkward for a similar reason to why a baby stumbles before they get comfortable with walking. Positive affirmations for some people, can be a very new exercise. Just like the baby, being able to efficiently walk with practice, you can efficiently affirm yourself leading to a higher self-esteem and lowered stress levels.
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